California trip

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A good week

It has been a busy, fun week.  Emily performed in the community play, Seussical. She had fun and we are glad the practices are over. We took out the canoe and enjoyed an evening at BeaverDick park. On the 4th we watched a two hour parade, in which Emily was in the marching band. Her band then performed a small concert in the park. We did some geocaching, had a barbecue, and watched the 6 minute fireworks show. We also blew up a few army men with firecrackers. Happy Independence Day!

Summer has been fun so far. We played some Frisbee golf with Carissa and Callen. Tony and I celebrated our 22nd anniversary by having a nice dinner at the Sandpiper. We watched a soccer game and an airshow with some friends from Preston. Erik turned 19 and had an x-men cake. We have seen grandpa and grandma a few times, but haven't made it up to Montana yet. We try to keep doing things that make us feel like we ate on vacation. In august we are taking a REAL vacation and going to California.

Eating pineapple

My pineapple finally got ripe. While mom was here we cut it. It was only about the size of a grapefruit, so by the time it was peeled and cored, we each got about two bites. It was delicious and we are going to grow another one from the top of this one.

Shattered Window and MRE's

While Tony was in Texas last week, the side window of my van spontaneously shattered, out of the blue, while sitting in the garage.  I can't find any reason for it!  Luckily there was a place in town that was able to replace it the next day. Cleaning up all the glass was not a fun job.

Our family has a tradition of eating from our 72 hour kits on conference weekend.  Here we are preparing our MRE's for dinner.  It is kind of fun, and we try to make the food in our kits healthy and appetizing.  Tony and I put on our packs and hiked around the neighborhood, to make sure we can carry them.  We really enjoyed the uplifting messages from conference and the time spent at home together. 

Love/Hate Relationship

Today I am feeling rotten and just need to vent a bit.  I am tired. I am sad and frustrated.  Nothing big and bad or horrible is going on... just regular, everyday life.  Dealing with children with autism has been a huge blessing, and a huge challenge.  Most of the time I am fine with it, and just keep plugging along, but every once in a while I get discouraged and angry and overwhelmed.  Today is one of those days.
I get tired because everything just takes so much work.  Just getting through a day with meals, clean clothes, clean bodies, homework done, etc.. takes so much more effort than for "regular" families.  I have to constantly remind, check up on, give directions, and help.  I want my kids to be independent and able to take care of themselves.  To others it often seems like I am "over-parenting" with the constant reminders and instructions, but I have found it is the only way to teach skills and habits.  My kids are not being lazy or irresponsible (most of the time), they have a disorder that makes it difficult for them to process instructions, to remember complex tasks, and to communicate their needs.  They need so much repetition and specific instructions that it can be overwhelming!
Sometimes I feel like I am the only one that understands the affects that autism has on the boys. I find myself getting angry that I have to remind others that the boys process information differently, that they need more reminders, that they need more help than others.  I feel like it shouldn't be my job to teach them what autism is and does, but that they should know.  Often I can't even express my feelings because I don't want to be too soft on the boys. I don't want to baby them or cause them to be less than they are capable of, and I try very hard to push them, but I feel caught between their abilities, and the demands of those around me.  I have a hard time stating this, so writing it out helps me to express my feelings.   I know that we are all doing our best.
I feel so lost sometimes... trying to figure out what they are capable of, how much to push, when to be gentle and when to get tough...( I feel this way with Em too, so I know it is how all parents occasionally feel). I feel very alone sometimes because there aren't very many people I know who are parenting young adults with autism and I don't have anyone to ask when I have questions and concerns.  I hate feeling left out when other parents are talking about their kids activities and accomplishments.
I don't want to be a whiner, and most of the time I feel very blessed and happy.  I just need to acknowledge that sometimes it is hard, sometimes I cry, and sometimes I get angry.

Erik is an Eagle

   

                             Erik finished his Eagle project almost a year ago.  We finally had his award presented to him on the 28th.  I feel bad that we didn't get announcements/invitations sent out to family and friends... The Court of Honor snuck up on me!  Anyway, it was a good evening, with many ward members there to support him.  I am so proud that he did it!!!!!  I am also grateful to have both my boys finished with scouting... it was a really good experience for both of them and they had some great experiences that only scouting could provide for them.