This morning I took another journey... down memory lane. A few weeks ago, I got a box of papers from CDC (Child Development Center), containing 8 years of paperwork on Jacob. They were cleaning out their files, and getting rid of old papers.
I started browsing through the pile, and quickly noticed that the newest papers were on top, with the oldest on the bottom. I turned the pile (about 8 in. tall) over, and started at the beginning. They began when Jacob was 2 years and 8 months old. The records showed our first phone call and visit to the CDC, because we were worried about our son. Then came all the tests: physical, emotional, developmental, psychological, and on and on. Next was the confirmation that our Jacob had "PDD-NOD" (Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Diagnosed). What the heck is that?!?! - we thought. Next was more stuff telling us that this was just a "nice" way of saying HE HAS AUTISM!!!!!
A few years later, our son, Erik, was also diagnosed with very mild autism.
As I read through this stuff, it brought back a lot of old memories... not all of them pleasant. But, I was happy to find that a lot of the pain and fear is not inside me any more. This "journey" through autism has been a real challenge for our family and for myself personally. It still is at times, but, thanks to my knowledge of the gospel, I have peace. I know it will be OK.
As I continued to read, there were hundreds of pages of various notes from therapists, aides, teachers, doctors, etc... Every visit was documented, and I was reminded of so many struggles our boys have had, and how they have been strong and overcome so much. I am so thankful to everyone who has provided help and support!
Austism will always be a part of our lives... it will continue to be a journey... I still have a lot of hopes and fears that only time can show me. I have my husband, my family, my friends, and most importantly, my Heavenly Father, who will travel along with me... I'm looking forward to the trip!!!
6 years ago
I think that would have been a little emotional! You're doing great! I remember a time in Jacob's life that still makes me cry to think of it! Those boys are sweeties and we love them! We love you, too!
ReplyDeleteYour post reminded me of something my mom has told me over the years of my own medical problems. She said to never give up the fight for myself- to always hold your head up and to remember that you always are fighting with Heavenly Father right along beside you.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure the ups & downs were hard- but you know what? You look at your kids and you can see how much you love them- and though I haven't known you long, or them, I can imagine how hard you have fought for them. :)
Wow! What a journey and a fine one at that. You couldn't ask for better boys. I so look up to you and Tony. What an inspiration you have both been to me and my family. We love you all so much . I too am thankful to my Heavenly Father for my trials, for I know without him, the road would have been a rockyone. Hugs to you all! Love Shara
ReplyDeleteYou and your family are a great example to all of us. And also a great help for those of us who are going through it in our own families.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing, Tara. You are amazing!
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