Saturday, September 6, 2008

Journey of a Different Kind

This morning I took another journey... down memory lane. A few weeks ago, I got a box of papers from CDC (Child Development Center), containing 8 years of paperwork on Jacob. They were cleaning out their files, and getting rid of old papers.

I started browsing through the pile, and quickly noticed that the newest papers were on top, with the oldest on the bottom. I turned the pile (about 8 in. tall) over, and started at the beginning. They began when Jacob was 2 years and 8 months old. The records showed our first phone call and visit to the CDC, because we were worried about our son. Then came all the tests: physical, emotional, developmental, psychological, and on and on. Next was the confirmation that our Jacob had "PDD-NOD" (Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Diagnosed). What the heck is that?!?! - we thought. Next was more stuff telling us that this was just a "nice" way of saying HE HAS AUTISM!!!!!

A few years later, our son, Erik, was also diagnosed with very mild autism.

As I read through this stuff, it brought back a lot of old memories... not all of them pleasant. But, I was happy to find that a lot of the pain and fear is not inside me any more. This "journey" through autism has been a real challenge for our family and for myself personally. It still is at times, but, thanks to my knowledge of the gospel, I have peace. I know it will be OK.

As I continued to read, there were hundreds of pages of various notes from therapists, aides, teachers, doctors, etc... Every visit was documented, and I was reminded of so many struggles our boys have had, and how they have been strong and overcome so much. I am so thankful to everyone who has provided help and support!

Austism will always be a part of our lives... it will continue to be a journey... I still have a lot of hopes and fears that only time can show me. I have my husband, my family, my friends, and most importantly, my Heavenly Father, who will travel along with me... I'm looking forward to the trip!!!

5 comments:

  1. I think that would have been a little emotional! You're doing great! I remember a time in Jacob's life that still makes me cry to think of it! Those boys are sweeties and we love them! We love you, too!

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  2. Your post reminded me of something my mom has told me over the years of my own medical problems. She said to never give up the fight for myself- to always hold your head up and to remember that you always are fighting with Heavenly Father right along beside you.

    I'm sure the ups & downs were hard- but you know what? You look at your kids and you can see how much you love them- and though I haven't known you long, or them, I can imagine how hard you have fought for them. :)

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  3. Wow! What a journey and a fine one at that. You couldn't ask for better boys. I so look up to you and Tony. What an inspiration you have both been to me and my family. We love you all so much . I too am thankful to my Heavenly Father for my trials, for I know without him, the road would have been a rockyone. Hugs to you all! Love Shara

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  4. You and your family are a great example to all of us. And also a great help for those of us who are going through it in our own families.

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  5. Thank you for sharing, Tara. You are amazing!

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